“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”– Leo Buscaglia

In more than a decade of practicing as a dietitian I have learned and mastered the skills of effective listening and I believe that it is one skill we all need to master in order to serve our clients better.

According to the Oxford Living Dictionaries, to listen is to give attention to sound or action. As per various online platforms the definition of Effective Listening is: “ Effective listening skills are the ability to actively understand information provided by the speaker, and display an interest in the topic discussed. It can also include providing the speaker with feedback, such as the asking of pertinent questions; so the speaker knows the message is being understood”.

To be listened to and heard is a striking experience. This is partly because it happens so rarely. People get ‘bigger’ when they are being listened to; they have more presence. They feel safer, more secure and they begin to trust.

This is an initial step of building a strong rapport with our clients. Outstanding listening is more than nodding and agreeing. In fact, it can sometimes mean doing the exact opposite! Listening effectively means getting ourselves out of the way, so that we hear exactly what is said, without making assumptions and interpretations about its meaning.

“We perceive the world the way we think the world is, not exactly the way it is”

We have over 2 million bits of information coming at us at any one time. We cannot process this amount of information so we filter out all but about seven plus or minus two chunks of information. We are HUGE deleters, distorters and generalises. It is the only way we can survive.

But as a health professional and specially as a dietitian or health coach we need to listen to the unsaid things, things that they may also be not be aware about. Our sessions need to help them increase self awareness and realize their patterns.

As we may go to a session with a list of good and bad or do’s and don’ts but if we do not change that list according to the client’s unique needs and preferences, we miss the most important part of providing an individualised treatment plan to them.


Clients with conditions such as obesity or eating disorder are already already dealing with a lot of judgment and shame. It must have taken a lot of courage for them to step up and seek help. If we provide them a judgement free environment, where they know they are heard I am sure we can get some great results with them.

Now let’s discuss how can we be an effective listener:

7 Steps of Active Listening

(BASED ON THE BOOK BY KERRY L. JOHNSON)

 

Step One: Value the Speaker

Your client may not be as articulate as you are. They may have many pauses and ‘um’s’. Let them find their way without interruption. They will love the space you are giving them. Resist finishing their sentence, or moving, which indicates impatience.

 

Step Two: Listen to What is Not Said

If you practice listening to what is not said, or what is ‘between the lines’ you will hear much more in the conversation.

Example:

Me: are you ready to make some changes?

Client: Yeeeeess

Me: Yes, But….?

Client: I am scared I will fall back into my habits again.

 

Step Three: Try to Hear the Truth

Sometimes what the client says will be the truth. We may miss this and tune out, either because it seems way off track or because of a ‘blind spot’ the dietitian has and is not aware of.

To ensure that the dietitian focuses on everything that is said and do not make any ‘deletions’ of their own, ask a question about the statement made by the client…

Example:

Client: I don’t have time for exercise

Me: No it’s important for you, pls do it every day – Wrong response….

Alternative response

Me: Okay let’s go through your entire day’s schedule and explain me more about this.

You have instantly made sure that you are acknowledging their situation, their truth.

 

Step Four: Limit the Time You Speak

This is especially true at the beginning of the session. By going into ‘listening mode’, the client will have a sense of familiarity about the session very quickly and this will fast track the rapport building.

Generally, it is good to make one observation or ask one question. Avoid making more than one comment or one question, or having a question run into another.

When we ask two questions, the client feels that the dietitian does not care enough to hear the answers and that the coach likes the sound of their own voice.

 

Step Five: Avoid Planning What You Will Say in Response to the Client’s Comments Shame and it takes a lot of courage to come and see you to seek support and help.

This is challenging for new professionals  because the dietitians wants to look like they know what they are doing. What this does is ‘tunes out’ the client. On a subconscious level, the client will sense this. The dietitian may miss a crucial piece of information or a subtlety in the client’s voice.

Silence is okay! If you are not sure where to go – it is fine to allow silence for thinking. 

Client: I want to know about this new product?

Me: Okay, can you tell me a little more about that, as this is something new for me,let’s do some more research together.

 

Step Six: Repeat Your Client’s Comments

This is about the dietitian ‘clarifying’ what they are hearing. Clarifying has two benefits. It allows them to check what they have heard is actually what the client meant. Secondly it enables the client to feel valued.

 

Step Seven: Don’t Take Extensive Notes 

Taking notes is very valuable for our session, but stop writing or typing when they are discussing something personal or emotional. Look into their eyes, lean forward and let your entire body language shows that you are just present for them.

Hope this helps you all to serve your clients better. I have used these strategies in many aspects of my life and found great value, hence thought of sharing them with you all.

“To say that a person feels listened to means a lot more than just their ideas get heard. It’s a sign of respect. It makes people feel valued.”

— Deborah Tannen

Categories: Food For Soul

23 Comments

Christine · October 24, 2019 at 8:27 pm

Meditate and Listen to Be More Eloquent . Meditation is one of the best ways to clarify and organize your thoughts. Consequently, it’s also a good way to improve your speaking abilities. But don’t worry, you don’t have to become a Tibetan monk to reap the benefits of meditation.

Shana · November 6, 2019 at 9:09 am

First Steps Nutrition Trust is a charity which provides clear, evidence-based and independent information and support for good nutrition from pre-conception to five years of age.

Andi · November 13, 2019 at 7:28 pm

How long does it take to become a nutritionist? Becoming an RDN can take five years, including four years to complete a bachelor’s degree and one more year to complete an internship. What does a nutritionist earn? The median yearly pay for nutritionists and dietitians in …

    Purva Gulyani · December 13, 2019 at 10:31 am

    Hey Andi
    Becoming a nutritionist is not very difficult a diploma or a certificate course can be sufficient. But to be a Dietitian (APD or RD) yes we need at least 5 yrs of study.

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